Spousal maintenance is the part of a Washington divorce with no formula, and most of what’s online about it is another state’s law or a guess. This post is part of a series answering the questions our clients ask when one spouse has been the earner and the other has not.
A stay-at-home parent in a Washington divorce doesn’t lose the house, the kids, or a share of what the marriage built for lack of a paycheck. Washington treats the years you spent at home as a contribution to the community, not a gap in your resume. In the first weeks you’ll respond to the petition, and then you’ll ask the court at a temporary orders hearing for support, a parenting schedule, the bills paid, and help with attorney fees while the case is pending. Here’s what happens, in order.
The first 20 days
If you were served in Washington, you have 20 days to file a response. If you were served out of state, 60. Don’t miss it. If you don’t respond, the court can enter the other side’s proposed orders by default, including the parenting plan. The response is a pattern form, and it doesn’t have to say much beyond disagreeing with what you disagree with. You can also file your own requests in it.
Nothing else is decided in those 20 days. Your spouse filing first doesn’t give them an advantage on any issue. One thing already happened when the case was filed. In Snohomish County an automatic temporary order takes effect on filing. SCLSPR 94.04(b). It bars both of you from moving, hiding, or selling property except in the usual course of business, for the necessities of life, or as agreed in writing, and it bars canceling insurance or changing beneficiaries. It also requires each spouse to give the other access to financial records. Island and King Counties have automatic orders of their own with the same restraints. Elsewhere, either spouse can ask for them by motion. RCW 26.09.060(2). If your spouse controls the accounts, that order is your first protection, and a violation is something to tell your lawyer about the same day.
Money while the case is pending
A contested divorce in Snohomish County takes 12 to 18 months. You need to live during that time. The law gives you a way to reach your spouse’s income for it.
Either spouse can ask the court for temporary orders. In Snohomish County you ask for everything in one motion: temporary spousal maintenance, temporary child support, a temporary parenting plan, who lives in the house, who pays which bills, and attorney fees. A commissioner decides it after reading both sides’ declarations and hearing five minutes of argument. The orders last until the case ends.
For a parent who’s been home, three requests matter most. A monthly maintenance payment you can live on. An order that your spouse keeps paying the mortgage, insurance, and car payments directly. And an order that your spouse pays toward your attorney fees under RCW 26.09.140. That statute lets the court shift fees after weighing both spouses’ resources. Our posts on why temporary orders matter most when you have no income and how to pay for a divorce when your spouse controls the money go through each request.
The children
Washington doesn’t award “custody.” It enters a parenting plan that sets a residential schedule and decision-making. The statute gives the greatest weight to the strength, nature, and stability of each child’s relationship with each parent. It also looks at which parent has taken greater responsibility for the children’s daily needs. RCW 26.09.187(3). None of the factors decides the case by itself. For a parent who’s been home, both of those are yours to document. Write down who got them up, who handled school and doctors, and who was home after school. Cover the last 12 months in specific detail.
Two cautions. The statute also looks at each parent’s future ability to perform parenting functions and the children’s relationship with both parents. A schedule that gives the working parent real time is the norm. And the fact that you’ll need to work eventually isn’t held against you. The working parent has always needed childcare too.
The court calculates child support on the state worksheet from both parents’ incomes. If you have no income, the court may impute income to you for the worksheet. But a parent who’s been home for a long marriage isn’t “voluntarily unemployed” just because the marriage ended. A court that treated a long-term homemaker that way in a child support calculation was reversed. In re Marriage of Kaplan, 4 Wn. App. 2d 466 (2018). Maintenance you receive counts as your income on the worksheet.
The house and the property
Everything either of you acquired during the marriage is community property. It doesn’t matter whose name is on it or who earned the money. That includes your spouse’s 401(k), the equity in the house, the cars, and the savings. At the end of the case the court divides all of it, community and separate, in a way that’s “just and equitable.” RCW 26.09.080. The statute tells the court to consider awarding the family home to the parent the children live with most of the time. It can also award the right to live in it for a period.
Equal is common. It isn’t required. Take a long marriage where one spouse’s earning capacity is far greater. Courts have divided property unequally in favor of the spouse who’ll have a harder time going forward. They have also used maintenance on top of the division. The two are decided together.
Spousal maintenance for the stay-at-home parent
This is where being the stay-at-home parent matters most in a Washington divorce. RCW 26.09.090 tells the court to consider, among six factors, how long you’d need for education or training to find appropriate work. It also lists the standard of living during the marriage, the length of the marriage, and your age and health. Every one of those favors a parent who left the workforce for a long marriage.
The clearest case is a 30-year marriage in which the wife stayed home by agreement and raised four children. The trial court gave her three years of maintenance. The Court of Appeals reversed. Where the earning gap is that wide, maintenance should be used to “more nearly equalize the postdissolution standard of living of the parties.” In re Marriage of Sheffer, 60 Wn. App. 51, 57 (1990). The Supreme Court has said maintenance is “a flexible tool by which the parties’ standard of living may be equalized for an appropriate period of time.” It has also said that being able to support yourself doesn’t disqualify you. In re Marriage of Washburn, 101 Wn.2d 168, 178-79 (1984). Our post on how maintenance is decided goes through the factors.
Going back to work
The court will consider what you could realistically earn and how long it would take. It won’t pretend you’re earning it today. The most persuasive position is a concrete plan: a program you’ve looked into, its length and cost, what it pays at the end. A vocational evaluation can turn that into evidence. The least persuasive positions are the extremes. One is a flat refusal to consider work. The other is an unsupported claim that you’ll be earning a professional salary next year.
The mistake people make
Moving out of the house and leaving the children in it “to keep things calm.” The parent who stays becomes the parent with the daily routine. The parenting-plan statute looks hard at daily routine and the stability of each parent’s relationship with the children. If you need to leave for your safety, leave, and talk to a lawyer the same week about the children. If it’s not about safety, stay until there’s a temporary order, and ask for exclusive use of the home in it.
Two things you can do now
Write down the last 12 months of the children’s schedule. Who did what, on which days, with specifics. This is your parenting-plan evidence.
Copy every financial document you can reach. Tax returns, pay stubs, account statements, the mortgage statement, retirement account statements. You don’t need to understand them yet. You just need copies. Every request for support in this case starts with them.
Common questions
Can my spouse cut me off financially now that they’ve filed? Not lawfully. In Snohomish County the automatic temporary order that takes effect on filing bars either spouse from disposing of property outside the usual course of business, the necessities of life, or a written agreement. A temporary orders motion can require support and payment of the bills within weeks.
Will I have to get a job before the divorce is final? No court will order you to take a job. The court will consider your earning capacity when it sets maintenance and child support, and a realistic plan helps you more than either extreme.
Do I get half of my spouse’s retirement account? The part earned during the marriage is community property and is divided as part of the overall division. Half is common; the court can divide it differently as part of a just and equitable result.
This post is part of our series for the spouse who hasn’t been the earner. Start with the main guide, How does spousal maintenance work in Washington when you have no income of your own?, or read about how long maintenance lasts and the Snohomish County guide to how a divorce actually works here.
Last updated September 2026.
Law Offices of Daniel Ehrlich, Everett. Family law in Snohomish, Island, King, and Skagit Counties. (425) 954-5578.
This article is general information, not legal advice. Every case is different. If your spouse has filed for divorce and you’ve been the parent at home, talk to an attorney.
